Flexibility
"Instead, you ought to say, "if the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." -James 4:15
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The past week has been a constant reminder that I cannot make my own plans. It has been a week of needing to be flexible. At almost every turn, I felt as if I had been stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had to make some difficult choices. I had to give up what I had planned, what I wanted, and where I thought I was going. I had to hold to my convictions, stand up for what I believe in, and trust God to further His kingdom through all the difficult moments. I suppose, unknowingly, my previous post on "letting go" was preparing me to really have to do just that: let go of every aspect of my plan.
- I planned to be traveling to Washington DC with my Dad earlier this week, to meet my Kenya-bound missionary team.
- I planned to be putting lots of Bibles in my checked bag (thanks to some amazing friends and family who gave me Bibles to bring to Kenya!!) and I planned to pick up that checked bag after arriving in Kenya.
- I thought I would be in Kenya today.
- I thought I would be starting a job at a hospital in Michigan at the end of the month.
- I planned a lot.
The problem with every one of those bullet points above is the one-letter word: "I."
I'm not in charge. God is. He had other plans for this month, and even though I don't understand them all, He remains my constant, my stronghold, and my leader. Why? Because I've seen His faithfulness in the past, and God's character never changes. Why His plans over mine? I don't have all the answers. But, I don't need to know all the answers. I simply am called to trust Him.
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"Commit your way to the LORD. Trust in Him, and He will act." -Psalm 37:5
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Short-notice changes to COVID-19 regulations made it so that I was unable to fly to Kenya. However, the majority of the team was still able to go. Long story. But, that part of the story is beside the point. It was still an amazing mission trip. It was simply much more "short-term" for me than I thought it would be.
I still flew to Washington DC to meet the Kenya-bound missionary team... but I didn't go with my Dad (see original bullet point plans...), because there was a big snowstorm, and he needed to stay back.
Because of this, there was an open seat next to me on the airplane. A 15-year-old who had originally been sitting in an exit row did not meet the qualifications to sit in the exit row, and so he had to be moved to a different seat. The seat next to me was open... because of the snowstorm, and my Dad not being in that seat. So, down sat the 15-year-old.
I soon learned that this 15-year-old did not speak english. He spoke Spanish. Of all other languages, this was the one I knew! I began speaking to him in Spanish. His face lit up with excitement, as he had been traveling with a whole bunch of people who didn't understand him. I can only imagine how frustrating that would be. While I thought the snowstorm to be an inconvenience, God used the snowstorm as an instrument to open up that seat next to me, for this young boy, Eric.
With an almost three-hour flight, I learned a lot about Eric, his family, and his life. It was a touching story. I also learned that he had never heard the story of Christmas, and he had never heard the gospel. So, not only did God push me outside of my comfort zone to blatantly share the gospel, but He had me do it in Spanish.
Imagine yourself kicking a ball across a field, running to it, and kicking it further. This week I've felt like I was that ball, and that God was kicking me further and further out of the bounds of my comfort zone.
One. Kick. At. A. Time.
But, that wasn't all. Remember the the Bibles I was sending to Kenya? They were NOT in a checked-bag (see bullet point list above of my original plans...), but in a carry-on. I had the Bibles with me. After learning that Eric liked to read and that he was trying to learn English, I gave him one of the Bibles from my carry-on.
There were so many things that wouldn't have happened if the trip had gone according to my plans.
I will never know if that boy was impacted by the words of the gospel. I will never know what happened to that Bible. But, I can pray and trust that God uses the "coincidental" moments for His glory and for the advancement of His kingdom.
God is not a God of coincidence. He is a God of providence. Perhaps this was the reason I didn't go to Kenya. Perhaps there were other reasons. But maybe, it was all because this one boy needed to hear the gospel and get a copy of the Bible. Not my plan. Not what I thought. Nevertheless, I trust that this change of plans was NOT without purpose.
I read a devotional a few weeks ago entitled, "sent to the many, but don't miss the one." It was something I had been thinking a lot about. Don't wait to share the gospel until you "arrive." You aren't promised the mission of tomorrow. You'll never get the opportunity of yesterday again. And so, you have got to use the gift of TODAY. Don't miss the one person God has put along your path who needs to hear the gospel - the person who needs to hear that they are loved by their Creator.
If God can use snowstorms to make room for the gospel to be shared, how can I be anything but thankful, and in awe of the work of God? Yes, I'm disappointed that I'm not in Kenya right now. There are many hard emotions and questions to process through. But, my attempt in all this was to obey God, even when it didn't make sense. Did I do it perfectly? No.
Whenever you say "no," you say "yes" to something else.
Saying "yes" to God isn't logical sometimes. I felt a call to say "no" to Kenya, and to say "no" to a few other opportunities, as well. But, I was able to say "yes" to sharing the gospel.
You have to obey the still, small voice of our powerful God. Trust and obey. That's all. There are many more stories I could share. However, the main point is this: Don't try to make your own plans. God's plans are better, even when we don't understand them. I thought I was Kenya-bound, but instead, I'm back at home. I'm excited to see what God is going to do in these next few weeks. Flexibility is the word of the day.
Oh... and for those of you wondering about Michigan, that is still the "plan." I'm starting my RN job sooner than I thought I would, and got an email about it just as I landed.
God's timing... I tell you... It is something else! Literally and figuratively.
There are many more truths and stories that have been shared with me over the last few days. Thank you to each mentor, friend, and family member who has continued to encourage me, pray for me, and continue to remind me of the truth.
More adventures await, but for now, TODAY is the day the Lord has given to us. And in that truth, there is joy.
My disappointments are God's appointments.
In my failures, His faithfulness abounds.
My rearrangements are God's arrangements.
In my weakness, His fortitude is found.
#spreadtheword
